Being a Mother of three boys, I’ve heard it all when it comes to my kids. Especially being a young mom with my first, I was very naïve and heard unwanted opinions from every body, moms and non-moms. Yes you read that right, non-moms trying to tell me what to do (insert eye roll emoji) But there comes a point that you just got to tell them, thanks but no thanks.
So over the past 5 years, cant believe I’m saying 5 YEARS, I’ve been a mom for almost 5 years! back on topic, Over the past 5 years I’ve gathered a few things to put on my “Do Not” list.
- Do not take my kid’s pacifier out of his mouth. Don’t even comment on his pacifier. When you go out of your way to take his pacifier out of his mouth, that’s saying “hello I’m _________, and I noticed your almost 2 year old has a pacifier still so yes, I’m judging you.” Yes I understand pacifiers can alter their smile, hence why I bought him an orthodontic one. But unless you walk a day in my shoes with my almost two year old, you’d understand that he NEEDS it. You think I give it to him just because I feel like it? besides, his dentist said we have until he’s three, so (insert hair flip emoji).
- Don’t ask me if I vaccinate or Don’t Vaccinate and then want to start a debate with me and MY CHOICE. I’m not going to go into detail on this subject too much, but just don’t do it.
- Don’t tell me I’m spoiling my baby. There’s no such thing. I’ll hold my baby until he’s 18 and there’s nothing you can do about it!!! They’re only babies for so long. There’s going to come a day when you’ll do anything to just hold them in your arms again!
- Don’t tell me when to start solids and what I should start him with. I’ll feed my baby when its recommended (6 months+). Just because my kid is huge, doesn’t mean “He’s ready to eat”. When someone tells me that, I say “So because he’s chunky, he’s ready for food? Obviously my breastmilk is more than enough”. And alsoooo, if I start him with Avocado and Banana before Rice cereal, what’s the big deal? And if you decide to give rice first, I’m not going to judge you, you’re a parent and you know what’s best!
- Don’t tell me how to discipline my child. This is a big one. Just because one thing worked for your little Johnny, doesn’t mean it’ll work for my kids. Heck something’s I did with RJ, I could never do with Elias, and for Joel. Every single child is different, you cant raise them all the same. So if I spank one of my kids on the hand, don’t look at me all twisted, because I may spank you on the hand. Kidding….actually not really lol.
- Don’t tell me how many kids I should have. When we announced we were pregnant with our third, we would hear all the time “You’re done right?” or “Have one more!” or “Keep trying until you have a girl”. First off, unless you helped me create these children, or financially provide for them…..You don’t have a say when it comes to how many kids we should have. If I want to be the next Duggar and have 19 kids, let me be and have my 19 kids, or if I want to just stop at 3, respect that.
I guess the moral of this post is to say, as a Mom, I’m just trying my best to raise some good kids, and its hard. Every day I struggle with something, whether its what shoes my 4 year old wants to wear today, or to get my 23 month old to eat his food, all while nursing my 5 month old. We all have different battles, and have it hard enough, last thing any of us parents need is another parent (or non-parent) to judge us on our actions.
Quick Story: While I was at Target on Mother’s Day, I heard a high pitch scream and cry come from a little boy probably 2 years old. The mom had twins, one in the cart and the other in her arms. The one in her arms was screaming, throwing his body back and just crying. She looked so embarrassed and was just trying to exit the store as quickly as possible, and I just wanted to give her a hug because I COMPLETLY know how it is (Mom to a strong willed almost 2 year old). While she was walking out, I overheard a guy say to his wife (pretty loud I should add) “Gosh, her kid is out of control, he’s just screaming” and then he shook his head. And even though that wasn’t my kid, nor was In her shoes, that really hurt my feelings. So I said “Try to be more compassionate, you don’t know what she’s going through”. I guess why it hurt so much was because I’ve been in her place before and I was so embarrassed, (only difference was, I didn’t leave the store. Its already a fight to leave the house and get them in/out of the car, Elias was not going to ruin it) and then there are people like him just judging! Like come on man, as human beings, we need to be kind and stand together. So fast forward 1 hour, 30 aisles and a full shopping cart later, I saw her again in the store (she came back, I assume after she calmed him down), and I told her “Happy Mother’s Day, You are doing an awesome job”.
Sometimes as a parent, all you want to hear is “You’re doing a great Job”. 5 words that make all the difference. So from one tired mama, to another tired mama, You’re doing a great job!
But anyways, Share with me some of your pet peeves, and don’ts as a parent in the comments or on my Instagram post. I’d love to read them!