I went back and forth with myself several times about sharing this or not, but here I go…
This isn't a 'call you out' type post, but just a 'Aseky needs to share her top 4 things you don't do as a blogger' type post.
So I've been blogging since December of 2014, when I was in the beginning of my 2nd trimester with Elias. I had made a blog when RJ was a baby just documenting baby food, but I got a full time job shortly after starting that blog and I never really kept up with it after like 5 posts. So when I re-launched my blog in the Winter of 2014, I went full throttle, and within this past year, I'm very fortunate to go part time at work, and that's when I was really able to start expanding my horizons within the Instagram and Blogging world. I'm amazed at how much it's taken off since really treating my blog like a fun, part time job.
When I write each and every post, I look at every detail, re read like 20 times, read it to my husband, my work best friend, my mom, and click on every link to confirm that it's working. So basically what I'm trying to say, I literally blog from my heart. Writing and connecting with other women and moms have become my passion. I had written a post back in March talking about my purpose, and not knowing it. Well since putting my faith in God and opening up to you all with that post, so many opportunities have come up, so many women have come into my life and impacted me on so many levels (here are a few blogger mamas I LOVE by the way- Brittany, Alexa, Lynn, Valerie, Jenna and Laura. Those are just a few, so please don't be mad at me if I didn't mention you) in the blogging sense. I love doing product reviews, because come on, who wouldn't love trying out new baby and child products, when you got THREE handsome little boys to photograph, I love sharing stories about my life, and I just love being raw and open with anyone willing to come to my blog and read (I'm literally stunned every time I look at my blog stats, and how much they've grown. Like, you all are interested in MY LIFE. Little ole' Aseky who got like 30 kids, and married young to my almost 9 year lover. My readers, and followers are THE best. seriously I love you all). But that's something I want to stay true to, every blog post, every sponsored post, comes from my honest heart.
So that brings me to my next point,
4 things you don't do as a blogger:
#1. When another blogger/social media influencer/whatever you want to call it, copies you and your style. Now in no way am I saying "you cant blog because I blog", what I'm saying is…I'm a love filled woman, who puts her all into her work (because I consider my blog, my job that I'm passionate about), who gets frustrated when I notice another "blogger" who deliberately copies you. I'm no dummy, I notice things.
Quick story: there is a girl who recently made a blog (like 3ish months ago), and I was seriously so excited and happy for her, but when I made a FB blog page (ya know to grow my established blog some more) right after I made one, she made one like within days. She then copied my Instagram bio(and I mean copied verbatim, it was annoying), if you read her about me on her blog, and then read mine, you'd be like who copied who? I also joined an influencer network and put the badge on my blog page, about 2 weeks later, she has the same badge on her page. At first, I thought it was coincidence. but after several "coincidences", that's when I start to notice, and see a trend.
#2. Not engaging: If you're going to use someone else's Instagram or blog for inspiration, or even copy, at least engage with them! Comment on their Instagram post, comment on their blog post, or even just a like. When I post something on my story, I see you, seeing my story (usually first may I add), but there's no engagement. That's called, lurking my page. and I'm not bashing anyone for looking at my stuff and not engaging with me, but if you're clearly copying, at least shoot a "yassss work it girl" comment on my PinkBlush outfit. There are a few mamas/bloggers that I ABSOLUTLY adore, and I frequently visit their page, I make sure to ALWAYS like/comment on their stuff, because they inspire me and I admire them so much. I am a firm believer in community over competition!
#3. Following mass amounts of accounts, only to unfollow them all several days later. I do not care about follower count on Instagram, I'm thankful for the ones that genuinely follow me because they like my content and kind-of care about me, so what I'm getting at is, I worked hard for my following. I follow people who I seriously care about, and if they don't follow me back, OH well, I'm not going to un-follow you. When I follow a page, I do it because I WANT TO, not because I'm hoping you'll follow back. My instagram is my platform to show tiny square images of my life, and if my page doesn't excite you enough to follow back, that's alright. I won't get butt hurt, I'll still double tap your pictures of your beautiful children, or your likedtoknow outfit, or even your blurry camera phone pics.
#4. BUYING FOLLOWERS. Even worse then following/unfollowing. Why would you want creepy foreign men following you? And it's SO unauthentic.
My husband is so amazing, he always reminds me that those 4 things are going to happen (and still is currently, unfortunately) as your blog grows larger and larger. People are going to see what you're doing, and the success you're having and want to get in on it. But the difference between us dedicated bloggers and the lurkers, we put love into our work, and it shows.
Renaldo told me to always remain humble, and classy through it all. But GOSHHH, it's so hard because like I said before, I put my ALL into my work, and to see someone else lurk, and replicate, just infuriates me. It's even gotten to the point where I don't want to share a new collab via insta-story, or when I write a post, I just think, hmmmm is this person just going to copy me? It's bad, but I'm really trying to keep my head in my own lane, and I frequently remind myself, why I'm doing this, and its because of amazing genuine mamas like you!
So to my other blogger friends, how do you deal with people copying your content, lurking your page, etc?. -If you don't necessarily deal with this (I'M JEALOUS), what would you do?
and if you're questioning if this post and the list was inspired because of you, please don't message me asking.
and one last disclaimer, I don't want this post to sound narcissistic-ish in any way like "she just wants my life"* while I flip my hair and take a slefie*, because that is so not me, I DONT WANT it to come off that way. But I'm a human, who doesn't like copy cats, and just had to make a top 4 things you don't do as a blogger list.