Finding my purpose
Right now I’m going to be so open and raw about a touchy (it is for me) subject.
When we are 15/16 years old, most of us have a plan. Whether its graduate high school-join the Military, get married-start a family, go straight to college-and graduate at 22, or go right into the work force and that’s it. No matter what point you are in life, most of us have a plan of some sort.
What if you fall off your planned path? What’s next?
Here is my story:
When I was in High School, I knew for a fact I was going to be a nurse, It’s in my year book (look at the pic below).
After I graduated High School May of 2011, I went straight to College and began my prerequisites for Nursing School. In my second semester of College, my life was shaken at the news that I was about to become a mother, AT ONLY 19 YEARS OLD! I never stopped school, even while I was in my third trimester and delivering RJ, I was taking online classes. I continued my online classes for 2 semsters following his birth. I finished all but three of my prerequisites for Nursing school. It wasn’t until I got my first “real” job at Winnie Palmer (Working as a financial counselor in the women’s triage) that I took a “break” from school. When I got that Job in the hospital, I was working along side the nurses, and that’s when I knew…NOPE this is not for me. I had a few career changes (Health services administration, Event Management) that I never went through with. but every time I thought I’d go back for nursing, something would come in the way to stop me. For example: I said, Okay I’m going to finish those last three classes in August of 2015 (after giving birth to Elias) and then apply for the nursing program. Well God had other plans, and the opportunity came up for my husband and I to buy a house. I do not qualify for any school financial aid, so I’d have to take loans out, and while we were in the home buying process, I could not open any new lines of credit or else that would mess up closing. So there went another opportunity. I said OKAY, following semester or summer I’ll go back to AT LEAST finish the courses and see where I’ll go from there, Well I got pregnant with Joel (Elias was only 9 months when I got prego), and that’s when I knew, I need to take a step back, go part time at work and just solely focus on my family. Because right now, this is where I need to be. I humbled myself, and accepted, that I’m not where I want to be, but I’m where God needs me at and I need to trust him. But all my confusion worked out for the best for Renaldo’s sake. In no way am I trying to take credit, because Renaldo is such a hard worker and put in 110% with all his projects! But if I was in nursing school for these past 2 years, in no way would my husband be able to put in the work and hours he did for his company and get to where he is at now. So again, everything is in God’s plan.
Fast forward to the now, Here I am 24 years old, and still trying to find my purpose. I was laying on the floor of my kid’s playroom, and talking to my husband, and I asked him ” You know me better than I know my self, what should I be doing? What do you see me waking up everyday doing?”. He’s looking at me long and hard, so I’m thinking, he’s thinking of a career field for me.
He looks at me with his beautiful brown eyes, and smiles at me and replies “I see you as a woman of God”, at this point I was like”…….uhhhhh, okay”. He continues saying “I see you as a woman of God, who will pray for God to lead you in the right direction. and when God shows you what your calling is, you’ll know that, this is it”
Gosh how did I get so lucky to have a man like him? He’s so perfect!
But anyways, as Christians how many of us can honestly say we have a close relationship with God? I go to church every Sunday, I was involved in a life group on Wednesdays, but I can truthfully say I don’t take time out of my day to spend with God. I say a little prayer before bed, but its more of a habitual prayer “Thank you for this, thank you for that, etc etc”.
My husband, told me about a sermon he listened to on his way to work, and basically the preacher said “If Jesus were to come today, would he be happy with you? Would you have anything to show for yourself? Are you fulfilling your purpose?”
Do I reflect Christ when I speak? Now, we are not perfect, no one is. But when people speak to me, I want others to know, I’m a humble woman of God who is fulfilling her purpose or calling. And I think once I do that, and build my relationship with God, he will show me what my purpose is. Whether it is to be a nurse, or an interior designer, a teacher, or a stay at home mom blogger.
I have a few nurse friends at work, who didn’t even start nursing school until they were 30! That’s 29 years of not knowing their purpose! I may find my purpose in 5 years or in 5 minutes. But whatever it is, I’m going into it trusting God, and doing it with love and passion in my heart.
So if you’re on the same boat as me (in your career or not), and just living day by day not knowing your purpose. Know that, you will know one day.
•Today I’m reading Jeremiah 29:11 and Psalm 32:8-11