10 Things You Don’t Say to a Pregnant Woman
Being pregnant three times, I’ve heard it all from people!
#1. Are you having twins?
Um, who says that? I’ve never had someone say this to me, But I’ve had a few co-workers who carry rather big, and I’ve heard other women say “Are you sure you’re not carrying two?” That’s like a complete slap in the face! Whether you actually are having twins or not. I feel like any type of comment referring to a woman’s size, should not be said at all. Whether she looks like she’s having quadruplets, or she doesn’t look pregnant at all.
#2. You look swollen!
I’ve actually had someone tell me 4 days before I delivered that I looked really swollen and tired. I almost cried- I blame the hormones haha (but no hard feelings to that person!). But it’s never okay to comment on a pregnant woman’s appearance while preggo. A particular person, always makes sure to mention that my nose is swollen from month 7 all the way until my delivery date. Most women swell up when they’re pregnant, whether its her nose, her lips, her cheeks, her feet, her toes, her ankles, her fingers, somewhere! And newsflash, We look at ourselves every single day, I think we know if we’re swollen or not.
#3. Are you going to try one more time for a girl/boy (opposite gender)?
Being a mom to THREE BOYS, I heard this one more often than I like. When I was pregnant with my 2nd, people would automatically assume that because I already have a boy, and was pregnant with another boy, I was already thinking about having my third. I didn’t even give birth yet to my 2nd, do you really think I’m thinking about getting pregnant again with hopes it’s a girl…no. Also, it just makes me feel like, the baby that I’m carrying isn’t good enough. Like you wanted it to be the opposite gender, therefore I just gotta try and try again until its the opposite gender.
#4. You don’t even look old enough to have a baby.
Quick Story: When I was pregnant with RJ, I was 19 years old, so Yes I was a teen mom, and yes I looked young. So I was at Publix grocery store shopping, and an older woman came up to me and said “awwww, what are you, like 15 and pregnant?” in a very condescending manner. Being the 19 humiliated teen mom that I am, I just responded “uhhh, I’m 19”. But I just couldn’t believe she really said that. And still to this day, when someone asks me, how many kids do I have and I tell them, 50% of the time, the response is “You don’t even look old enough to have kids”. Although I am young, I just respond with a simple thank you and act flattered like I’m older than I really am, because I just don’t feel like being judged.
#5. No Baby yet?
Obviously not. I still look like I swallowed a basketball. Whenever it was the last few weeks/days of pregnancy, which in fact feels like years, the last thing you want to hear every 5 minutes is “Still no baby yet?”. I do understand that’s just small talk with a very pregnant person, but say things like, “how are you feeling”, or “you look great!”,but asking a question we obviously all know the answer to, is just annoying.
#6. Did you plan this pregnancy?
Does it matter if it was or wasn’t? Are you going to sleep better at night knowing? It’s no ones business!
#7. You cant drink/eat/do that…
As long as that woman is seeing an actual OB, she knows what she should or shouldn’t be doing. Of course if she’s doing something to seriously harm the baby, that’s different. But if she’s eating pizza with pepperonis (I’ve had someone tell me I’m doing serious harm to my baby because I had a slice of pepperoni pizza) or enjoying a coke, let her be!
#8. You’re still here?!
This one is for the out of home,working mamas. Before delivering and starting maternity leave, co-workers would come up to me asking “You’re still here?!?!”, Well obviously, I am. I’m going to stay here until I physically can’t or until I deliver. Or some mamas financially cant leave before it’s time.
#9. Labor is going to hurt!
Please don’t share your horror stories with a first time mom, or remind a pregnant women of the pain our bodies are built to take (whether you get an epidural or not, or a c-section). Us women are so strong, so don’t let people’s horror stories freak you out!
#10. Are you pregnant?
Don’t ever everever assume! Imagine how humiliated both of you will feel if she’s not pregnant!!
In the comments, share with me something outrageous someone said to you while you were pregnant!