Eliminating toxic people from your life
Really hesitant about posting this but who knows who will read this, and who it may touch.
Do you have a friendship that’s no good, or a relationship with someone that’s more like frenemies?! Is there someone who continuously robs your happiness? I urge you for the sake of your inner peace and joy to remove yourself from their lives.
As easy as it is to just say “no one can control my moods”, it’s a lot harder to live by that than you think. If you truly don’t let anything or anyone get to you, I applaud you! As much as I wish I could say “I will not let anyone dictate my emotions”, I can’t. I’m human and I feel things, and unfortunately my feelings ARE affected by other people.
I can’t offer you a “how to” list on how to remove toxic people from your life, because it’s hard and I’m still figuring it out. But I can tell you a little story…..
Quick story: There is someone that I’ve known for the past 3ish years, when every time I talk to her, it’s like she thinks it’s a competition. I say something, she has something better to say back to me. When I share a happy moment, she has something negative to say. I share a milestone in my child’s life, their child did it first. Every time our conversations would end, I’d have a weird feeling inside, I felt anxious and emotionally exhausted. When I shared this feeling with my husband, he told me “that’s a frenemy, that’s not a real friend. That person is envious of you and you need to remove that person from your day to day life. It doesn’t mean you can’t say hi, but you don’t HAVE to engage with her!”. And after he told me that It was like a light bulb just turned on and all the puzzle pieces connected.
When someone is envious of you, or they lack in a certain area in their life (whether it’s their home, car, relationships, marriage, career, looks, money or just happiness) and they’re unhappy with themselves or self conscious about it, they will try to make you feel less about yourself, or try to one up you to make themselves feel better about their short comings. They will try to rob you from your own happiness.
Thankfully I’m in a situation to where I barely run into this person, and I’m not the type to NOT say “hi”, I’m really nice ? but I’ve definitely stepped back, and you know what, I’m happy. Whenever I do have run-ins with this person, I don’t walk away feeling upset or annoyed like I use to. I feel peace again.
After I had the courage to step back from this toxic relationship, it’s opened up my eyes to so many other people as well. It’s sad, but some people will only talk to you when they need you, or when they can benefit from you. I try to be the best version of myself at all times, because I never want to be known as a gossiper, or a Debbie Downer. I always want to be someone that reflects Christ, and is that positive person during a negative situation. So removing certain people from my life, that bring out the ugly in me, has brought me internal peace. When you remove toxic people from your life, and surround yourself with true, authentic, kind, pure people, your quality of life changes. YOU become who YOU surround yourself with. So choose your people wisely.
So like I said before, if you have someone in your life that make you feel any less than you are or deserve to feel, do yourself a favor and step back. If you can’t commit to stepping back, maybe go part time in the relationship lol.
Thanks for reading my little heart to heart ❤️