How to Stop Fights and Start Fun!

How to stop fighting between siblings…. you can’t. I probably just rained on your parade, and crushed all hopes of having perfect harmony between your children. But seriously, if they fight, they won’t stop. If you have magical unicorn children who get along all the time, can I have some of your magical fairy pixie dust that you bathed your children in?

Keep Them Busy:

1. Look at the toys they’re playing with: My kids love dinosaurs and race cars. The only problem is that race cars encourage competitive play, which then turn into fights about who won, who cheated, who took whose car. And dinosaurs encourage violent play – they like to hit each other’s toys together because “that’s what dinosaurs do, mommy” and someone hurts their fingers. Not saying don’t buy these toys, because our boys love them, and we still buy them for them! But think about getting them toys that encourage teamwork, and no conflict play. We received the Rescue Heroes® toys from Fisher-Price. What we love about them is that the heroes are diverse in nationalities, professions, genres, and genders and are super FUN. These figures tackle natural disasters and are all about adventure! It shows my kids that there are toys on store shelves that look like them, and that they can be whatever they want to be. Plus, they are a great price. You get a lot in the box (figure, backpack + super cool tool + additional accessories). To show the kids each figure’s character, they have an animated show on the Fisher-Price YouTube channel that shows them exactly who each Rescue Heroes character is. In the animated show, they demonstrate the POWER of TEAMWORK, what real everyday HEROES look like, and give them all something/somebody to emulate.
2. Play Outside: When we let the kids run wild and free outside, there are no limits (well, until the end of the driveway, they know not to go past that). But they’re able to do their own thing, or play together (bikes, basketball, digging in the dirt). The days that I say “wow, the kids didn’t even fight today” are the days they got sufficient outdoor time. They love bringing along their Rescue Heroes characters on all their outdoor adventures too!
3. Add Water: I don’t know what it is about playing with water — bath tub, water table, out in the rain, water balloons, water sensory activities — they immediately become little angels. I swear by water activities. One of the Rescue Heroes characters, Sandy O’Shin, is actually a water rescue cadet, making her the perfect toy to bring along for water activities.
4. Have Them Do Chores: Give everyone a different chore. My oldest loves making lunches for his brothers, my 2nd loves putting away toys in the toy box, and my 3rd loves cleaning the sliding glass door. When each of them are occupied with their specific chore, fights are rare. Funny enough, there’s an episode of Rescue Heroeswhere Carlos Kitbash learns the importance of cleaning up after himself. Not only is the easy for kids to relate to, but it’s important for them to see that heroes do chores too!

Set Expectations, Vocalize Them, and be a Positive Example:

1. Talking to your kids about their fighting and how it makes you feel can really help: Getting on their level and sharing how you feel about fights can encourage them not to do it. When I talk to the boys about their fighting, and how we can resolve issues without the screaming and punches, they actually listen to me. I do need to remind them daily about my expectations, but for the most part, it works!
2. Watch yourself and how you speak around/to them: When I notice myself yelling at them, they tend to be more irritable as well. I know as humans, we feel things, and sometimes let our emotions speak — it sometimes comes off as harsh. Kids take note of how we speak and talk, and pick up on those things. Irritable mom = irritable child = more fights.

So there we have it folks, those are my tips for minimizing sibling fights and creating some fun. I wish I could say I have the top secret formula for getting rid of the fighting completely, but does anyone?  Seeing my kids happy and getting along just makes my heart so happy, so I’ll do anything to achieve that. Thank you so much for reading, and if you loved this, make sure you share it on Facebook and pin it on Pinterest.