How we knew our family was complete

Thank you Facebook Marketplace for sponsoring this post. There’s something for everyone!

I’ve heard time after time, from seasoned parents mostly, “You just know when your family is complete.” Never understood it, until we knew it.

Renaldo and I started having kids young, many of you know that. From the get-go, we always said we wanted four kids. Our plan was to have two at first, close in age (RJ and Elias), and then wait like six or seven years to have the next two, hoping it would be two girls. Well, life never happens the way you want it to, and I got pregnant with my third child when my second was only 9 months old. That means we’d have two under 2 years old, for six months.

When we found out we were expecting our third child, we just decided that was it. No more after this baby. We were already making plans to sell all of all the baby stuff on Facebook Marketplace, that’s how serious we were. Even the sentimental items! We wanted to bless another family, who may not have been able to afford these baby items, by giving them an opportunity to purchase them through Facebook Marketplace – the perfect place for people to easily find, sell, and buy items in their local community.

We didn’t care if it was another boy, we were done. Even after giving birth to him, I felt done, or so I told myself. It wasn’t until I was a month or so postpartum that I started to feel emptiness. Obviously, my heart was full with three handsome little boys. But I felt like–this is it? No more kids for us? I went running to my husband crying because I knew Joel wasn’t going to be the last one. And when I poured out all my feelings of emptiness, but also guilt because I had this perfectly healthy and beautiful one month old.

He understood 100% and said he felt the same way. He said to me, “I know we need one more, it’s what we’ve always wanted.”

I understand what may have been your original plan of x amount of kids may not always be the outcome for whatever reason, whether it’s finances, fertility, hard pregnancies, etc. But fortunately, and thankfully for us, our original plan stayed the same.

So, when we had our heart-to-heart and expressed our desire and need for one more child, we didn’t put a date on it, we just knew that it wouldn’t happen within Joel’s first year of life. Anytime after that, it could happen when it happened.

When Joel turned 1, we conceived our fourth baby a month later. We weren’t trying, but we also weren’t not trying, if that makes sense? We were beyond thrilled when we found out. Before we even knew Laila was a girl, we knew this was it. I had a long talk with my OB/GYN and made the choice to remove my tubes (read more about my tube removal here). So, I knew this was it. This entire pregnancy was different for me. It truly felt like the last time, and I cherished every bit of it. Every ultrasound, I really soaked it in, because I knew I would never have another 6 week, 12 week, 19 week scan. I would never see another baby (that’s mine) via ultrasound again. It was a hard pill to swallow, but a good one. I felt good about closing this chapter in my life, being done with pregnancy, and parting ways with baby items through Facebook Marketplace. So fast forward to today, we now have a 6-month-old, 2-year-old, 3-year-old, and 6-year-old. We couldn’t be happier and more content with our life and our family. My husband and I truly feel complete with our family of 6.

So the question people have asked us time after time…

How did you know you were done?

Aside from having 4 kids in under 6 years……

1. Finances: Kids are expensive. Not so much when they’re little, but think about as they get older with sports, school activities, cars, school dances, college, etc. We know what kind of life we want our kids to have. It’s the kind of life we had growing up, and they deserve the same, if not better. We want to be able to do all the fun things with them, like vacation with them, help them with college, and in any other way they need us. So, us having 4 was the number we felt comfortable being able to do all that with just my husband’s income.
2. We are excited to sell all the baby stuff for good: I mean, legit excited. I made a list of the baby items I wanted to sell, and by when. For the last six years of our lives, our house has been flooded with the latest baby gear, from playpens, high chairs, cribs, to swiveling bassinets. We are so grateful for all of these items, and they definitely served their purpose, but we are excited to pass them on. Whenever we sell items, we ONLY sell through Facebook Marketplace. Why? because I trust it. Facebook Marketplace is an easy, and convenient way to buy and sell items. You don’t have to worry about shipping anything. You can check out the potential buyer’s Facebook account, see how long they’ve been on Facebook, and even rate sellers/buyers. The best part is there are no seller fees. Facebook isn’t taking a percentage of the sales. Since buying our home, I’ve been the most indecisive person when it came to home decor, and would buy something new, use it for six months, and decide to go with another “look.” I’d list my item on Facebook Marketplace, and within the week, my items were sold, paid, and picked up. So, in the next few months when we clear out some baby gear, I will be listing the items on Facebook Marketplace.I feel good about giving another family the opportunity to purchase items that are basically in brand new condition.
3. My mind is scattered now: I’ve always been a very type A person, even after one, two, and three kids. I’ve always been super organized and just on top of my stuff, all the time. But after having my fourth child, I can’t remember diddly squat anymore. I look a hot mess like 75% of the time, and I feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day to do things. When I shared this feeling with an older friend of mine who has three kids, she said, “Yep, that’s when you know you’re done. When you start losing your mind, you’ve reached your max.” Now, I get you may feel that way with just one baby, but you’re still functional and don’t have older children to worry about (homework, field trips, lunch packing, etc.), so you’ll be alright. But imagine feeling so lost all the time, but still have to take care of two to three other kids, one of which is in elementary school, the other in preschool with “homework,” and a toddler who loses his mind every six seconds. Yep….I’m done. No more babies.
4. Space: We like the house we live in and don’t plan on selling for at least another 5 years, and there is also no possible way we could have another child in this house. There just isn’t enough space. Same for our car. We have a 7 seater SUV, and if we had another baby, there would be a car seat in every single seat.
5. We just knew: I know I already mentioned this, but believe me, you’ll know. Your heart will feel it. There are times, even after my surgery, that I mourn the loss of never being able to carry/deliver a baby again, but I can’t even imagine my life with another child. My mind will only allow me to process four. Once you have this feeling, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t have this feeling and are working on baby number seven…maybe get a puppy next? lol totally kidding–kind of.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope this post was able to help you out with what direction you want your family to go. At the end of the day, it’s 100% up to you and your spouse. And should you decide to close this chapter in your life, please consider selling all of your baby items through Facebook Marketplace. Your home will feel so much cleaner once you get rid of all those items. Afterall, they’ve served their purpose and now it’s time to move on.

Thank you Facebook Marketplace for sponsoring this post