Why my husband and I kiss in front of our kids
My husband and I love each other. I think anyone who spends time around us, knows that. Whether he has his arms around me, I’m saying I love you, kisses at red lights, me slapping his butt or he’s kissing me on the cheek. Since high school, Renaldo and I have always been very affectionate, and since having kids that’s something we DO want our kids to see. We want them to know it’s okay to kiss your future wife, it’s okay for daddy to rub mommy’s leg (G rated lol), it’s okay to publicly show how much we love each other. (Don’t worry we’re not the ones in aisle H26 at Target making out lol). But ultimately we want the boys to know how to properly treat a lady with his actions AND his words. And for Laila to know how to treat a man and be treated by a man. I once read “When a man loves a women correctly, she becomes 10 times the women she was before” I got that from Khloe Kardashian lol.
But we are building a foundation for their future relationships. We always want them to know mommy and daddy loved each other through the good and the bad. When I say the bad, this is also very important to us because Renaldo and I ARE NOT PERFECT. We have disagreements, and unfortunately sometimes the kids are in the back seat when we do have minor disagreements. But what we also show them is us making up, and apologizing. And shortly after, we’re back to loving and kissing. We want them to understand that not everything is perfect! Everyone isn’t going to think the same way you think, and agree with what you believe in. But it’s about agreeing to disagree and moving forward. And most importantly not letting arguments break something special.
Renaldo and I know we are in this for the long run. So regardless of the type of argument we have, I know I’m there to stay, I know he’s there to stay and he knows I’m there to stay.
We both come from “broken households”. And while some say it really affects the children, I feel like it benefited us (were the minority). But I grew up knowing what an unhealthy relationship is, and what it is to be happy! When my mom and dad got divorced, I NEVER felt any type of way. I was 8 but I was very aware of their love for each other, but I was also very aware of the issues and that being together was doing more harm. I saw my mom live her best life afterwards, and what a happy parent does for the child. I knew from a young age what to look for in a future spouse, and what my future marriage should look like, and I want my children to grow up with both their parents TOGETHER, but HAPPY and IN LOVE.
Renaldo also grew up in a “broken household” but the divorce happened also when he was very young. Again, it didn’t affect him like it should’ve affected normal kids. He ended up growing very close to his mother, and she showed him what love and affection is, and in return he gives me all that. He didn’t REALLY miss out in seeing that with his parents. He knew that whenever he’d marry someone, it was for good. Meaning that person (me) needed to have all the traits and qualities that he thought would make for a good wife.
Whenever we had RJ, so many people were pushing us to get married. But if you remember we didn’t get married until RJ was just about 2. But we knew we loved each other and wanted to get married one day, but we were making sure we were doing it for all the right reasons. Not just because we had a kid together. We both needed to be mature and we both needed to really understand marriage. We took a prep for marriage class and we learned SO MUCH MORE about each other and the importance of affection. But once we completed that class we knew this was what we were going to do, not because we were “suppose” to it, but because we loved each other and WANTED to do it.
The importance of Affection with my children:
It’s not just Renaldo and I who show affection with one another, we make sure to do it with them as well. I make sure there is a balance between my affectionate marriage and a loving parent-child relationship. We like to snuggle up on the couch any chance we get. Hugs and kisses before bed. And of course lots of “I love you”s. We want them to know they are equally as important and loved. So when they grow up, they grow confident in themselves, their relationships with us (the parents) and they do the same with their own kids.
Here are some more pictures of our “husband and wife only” photos:
What I love about these, is that I can see the love between us, and the boys were right there while we took the photos. They saw mommy and daddy laughing with each other, daddy carrying mommy, and all the kisses. But I can proudly say, it’s nothing new to them. Everyday we unintentionally and intentionally display our love for each other. Sometimes RJ will see me sitting on Renaldo’s lapwhile he kisses me on the cheek and he’ll yell out “eeeeewwwww” and run away giggling. But I rather them grow up seeing that, than never seeing it at all and affection end up being something foreign to them.
So ladies remember to treat your man like a gentleman, and gentleman remember to treat your lady like a lady. There are tiny little people who look up to you and your marriage. What you do now, sets the foundation for their future relationships.
Ladies, kiss your man and make him feel good about himself.
Men, massage your lady’s foot and listen to her babble about her rough day with the kids.
Thank you to my sister in law for inspiring this post. I don’t really need to go in depth, but a prolonged 2 day conversation about this topic definitely pushed me to write this. Thanks Dede!
And thank you to my mom and Renaldo’s mom for always showing love and affection to us, despite what you may have been going through!
All photos were taken by Ryan Clark Photography