How I manage it all
Motherhood is hard. Being a wife is hard. Maintaining a house is hard. Being a (part time) working mom is hard. Being a blogger is hard.
I often get asked “how do you do it?”, “how do you always look so calm with everything going on?”, “how do you do Room mom stuff, Blog stuff and go to work”. And seriously it’s so flattering when you all ask me that, but after you have three kids, let me rephrase that, after you have 2 under 2, you can blindly run a circus. No lie….
You want to know how I stay on top of it all? How I stay motivated, and get it all done (except the laundry, I’ll forever struggle getting laundry done). I changed my outlook on everything. I remind myself, why I’m doing this. I remind myself that this is just a season. I remind myself, that they need me, but I need them more. I remind myself it’s okay to say No. I remind myself it’s okay to not do it all!
Everyday I wake up and I think about my purpose in life. Those kids and my husband are my why. Being their mom and Being my husband’s wife give me so much joy. You know how much energy that gives me?! I mean the coffee helps, but I think about those four smiling faces and that alone makes me want to tackle my day.
When I pack their favorite lunch just the way they like, and I pick them up from school and their tummies are full and they say “thank you for my lunch”, that pushes me to go the extra mile with their lunches. When my husband gets his work clothes out and notices they’ve been ironed with just the perfect crease, he gives me extra kisses while I’m sleeping, and he thanks me because it saved him so much time.
I really find so much joy in motherhood, and all the craziness it brings. So here are my tips on how to manage it all, without going crazy.
How I manage it all:
1. Start my day with goals: When I wake up, and after my morning cup of coffee, I write a list of things that need to get done today. After looking at the list, I circle everything that’s urgent, and everything else, I’ll get to ONLY after I finish the urgent stuff. By doing this list, I’m able to prioritize what’s important. So I’m not stuck aimlessly roaming the aisles of target until 5pm and now my water bill has gone unpaid and the city hall is closed all because I forgot to write it down and prioritize.
2. I live for my planner: I’m a planner. It’s just my personality type. I utilize 3 planners daily. One on my phone, one that’s carried in my diaper bag, and one that’s on the fridge.
- The one on my phone is a shared calendar between my husband and I. It has all the bill dates!
- One on my fridge: this one is also for my husband and I. But what’s different about this one, it’s only a week out. So every morning when my husband wakes up and makes his coffee, he can see what we have planned for the week. If your husband is anything like mine, he literally has no clue what’s going on in our lives. He loves Day by Day. Also on this calendar, it has important stuff for the boys school, so homework assignments with due dates, volunteer days in their class, and Birthday parities.
- One in my diaper bag: this one is used for planning really far out in advance. In this one you’ll find dates as far out as next Christmas, planned vacations, planned blog posts, and my work schedule.
3. I make the most of my trips/time:
- Errands: I try to get all my errands done after I’ve dropped the older two at preschool. If I need to go to target, I’ll make sure I get it done when I’m already out taking them to school, instead of dropping them off, going home, and then leaving again. That’s why you have to plan your day before it even starts!
- Blogging/Social media: Also when I’m in the car (as a passenger) and we’re driving to Disney, or the mall, or anywhere that’s more than 20 minutes, I’ll work on my blog or my social media. I whip my phone out and reply to messages, or finish up blog posts.
4. I make time for what’s important: this kind of goes with number 1, but when something is important to you, you make time for it.
- My blog is very important to me, so you’ll literally never here me say ” I just can’t find the time to blog”. Like mentioned above, I either blog in the car, or during nap time, or after the kids go to sleep. But I limit my night time blogging because spending time with my husband is more important.
- Dates are important to my husband and I, so we MAKE TIME for it. We get a baby sitter, and go on dates AT LEAST once a month, but normally twice a month.
- Going to the gym, it’s a love hate relationship, but I make time for it at least twice a week. It’s really easy to go to the gym even with all three because they have an amazing childcare center. So if you’re struggling with going to the gym because of childcare, I HIGHLY recommend the YMCA! they actually do activities with the kids like center time, pretend play and crafts. Read this blog post about how to stay motivated to workout.
- Quality time with the boys is big for me too! Although I am home with them, I try to be present. Meaning not glued to my phone! Sometimes I miss out on recording those funny moments because my phone is just not around.
- Extracurricular activities for the boys: Soccer games, T-ball games, and flag football games are all on the weekend, so I make sure that my 2 shifts I work, don’t fall on game day. And if it does, I sacrifice sleep (remember I work 7p-7a) to be there rooting him on. I want them to grow up remembering that both parents were always at the game. Plus I kind of have no choice but to be there because my husband is always the coach and I have to watch the younger two.
- Volunteering at RJ’s school: it’s mandatory that we volunteer once a month, but within that time I’m there at the school, I’m handling room mom duties as well, so it kills two birds with one stone. Plus RJ LOVES having his mom in the classroom. Win-win!
- Keeping my house tidy: I clean every.single.day sometimes twice a day. But having a clean house is important! Don’t get me wrong, there are times my dining room table is filled with stuff (usually right before a party) and I have laundry on every couch, it happens, I have kids, not everything is perfect! Click here for my daily 45 minute cleaning routine!
5. I say no: If I feel like I have too much on my platter, I’ll say no! At first it was really hard to say no because I have a strange obsession with getting involved with everything and having my hands in 20 different pots, but once you discover the power of no, it’s freeing, and you feel empowered.
6. I take advantage of nap time: All three of my boys takes naps, no questions asked. During nap time, if I need to get stuff done, I’ll utilize this time to get things done, whether it’s cleaning up the house, writing, catching up on shows or even eating a meal in peace. If I’m not doing all of that, I’m napping with them. When I wake up from a nap, I feel rested and much more joyful to be around hahah.
So those were my 5 tips on how I’m able to manage all the craziness in my life! This is what works for me, and it may not work for you. But at the end of the day, it’s about finding the right balance so you’re able to be the best version of YOU for yourself, and your husband and kids.
Thank you so much for reading and I’d love to hear your feedback!